In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
