Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
