if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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