White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
