And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
