Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
