what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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