He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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