i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
