dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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