i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
