He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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