the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
