hotel room ftw
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
