He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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