He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
