dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
