SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
