Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
