hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
