So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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