6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
