I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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