I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
