Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my fart just growled at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
