i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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