my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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