Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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