I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He has the fingertips of a God
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
