I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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