you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
