Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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