): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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