I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
