...so i touched it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
