I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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