im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
