Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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