just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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