Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
