you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
