He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
