how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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