I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
