My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
