Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
