if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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