I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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