He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
