Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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