Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
